It ain't all unicorns and rainbows.

There was a hard lesson to learn this past week.  One I certainly already knew in many ways, especially with the counseling and crisis management training I've had both in the job and in the classroom, but starting my own charity and putting my own ideals to work on a completely new project was risky.  I've always been one to take risks, and I've also always been one for much self reflection too.  This week's blog came late specifically because I've been stewing and thinking and trying to figure it all out.

The bottom line is that Chris is okay.  He's actually doing quite well - he managed to get a full time job with his step-brother after being out only one week.  Jennifer and I were pretty amazed at that luck, but really it spoke to the hard work ethic and raw talent Chris has.  He's very smart too, and takes a lot of pride in doing for himself and being a man of his own.  But Chris isn't exactly a great communicator, especially after being locked up for so long, and when he started to feel a bit smothered and too much a "charity" case, he resisted.  We just didn't realize that's why he didn't want to talk to us all that much.  He very much appreciated all the help we threw at him, but once he started working and earning money all on his own, he was happy to be able to take pride in his own ability to make his way.  In other words, we needed to back off a little but we didn't know it.  We smothered him with our kindness and generosity!  And then we got our feelings hurt when he fell (almost) silent. 

Rest assured that all is well now, but growing pains do happen.  There was a moment when we both considered letting the coalition go.  I guess when feelings get hurt we question things, but the point is that with each step we take in this new adventure we learn a little bit more about Chris, about what it must be like being a new man on the outside, and about ourselves.  It's not all unicorns and rainbows, but I'm proud to say it's all good (enough) for me.

Freedom looks like blueberry pancakes, and piping hot showers.

Wow. The last 9 days have been a crazy, exciting, sleep-deprived whirlwind and I apologize for not posting sooner, but just let me say again…wow!

Chris is out.  He’s a free man for the first time in more than three years.  When he pulled up in my driveway last Friday he looked pale, tired, and just plain worn out, but happy, happy, happy!  He was a bundle of nerves from head to toe, which oddly enough, I did not expect.  Can you imagine having most of your life controlled for three years and then all of a sudden being turned loose right out into the street.  Luckily he had a special person waiting there in the parking lot and from the way he tells the story he threw his arms in the air as if he’d just scored a winning goal.  He did abstain from kissing the ground though!  He was so nervy that he hadn’t even eaten since the day before, nor slept a wink at all.  They kept him in a holding cell the day prior to his release and he’d simply paced the floors for hours just waiting to be free.  He was strikingly thin and we wanted to take him for a nice big steak, but when we asked him where he wanted to eat his only request was IHOP.  He hadn’t had bacon or sausage in three years and he wanted blueberry pancakes too!  It was so nice just watching him eat.

Jennifer and I have learned a lot about the ins and outs of what someone needs upon getting out of prison, especially if there’s no family ready and willing to take the recently released prisoner in.  They are released with a debit card that has nearly $40 on it and nothing more.  Chris needed everything that we take for granted each and every day.  He needed everything from a bar of soap to razors to a decent pair of shoes that fit his feet properly.  We took him shopping at Target that night and bought him some clothes, and we gave him the $150 we’d collected in the weeks before through our bake sales, as well as the donated iPhone 3GS that I’d had turned on for him the day before his release.  To say he was grateful would be an understatement.  In addition to his shopping trip, we gave him all the other things that had been donated to our cause.  He was completely overwhelmed at the kindness that had been shown him from total strangers.  This is the night that the word “family” began to take on a different meaning for Chris.

With each day that has followed the first, Chris has gotten slightly more settled in to his freedom, and antsy pacing has morphed into rearranging, cleaning, planning, and job searching.  We met with his parole officer, we went to the DMV, and we visited his small son.  He had a string of perfectly hot showers that he was able to take all by himself.  He joked, “I dropped the soap three times just because I could!”  Step by step we are trying to rebuild his life from almost scratch, and little by little the details of his life in prison are being shared in bits and pieces when he’s comfortable.  Each day he tackles something new, whether it’s contacting a relative he misses, or digging out his old moldy clothes from the last residence he had before being locked up.  In the midst of everything he’s trying to do to get acclimated to his new life on the outside, he still keeps in touch with the few friends he had on the inside.  One day he and Jennifer made a special trip to give $5 to the wife of one of those friends who was simply trying to gather enough money to buy a $15 phone card for him to be able to call home.  Every single thing we take for granted here in the comfort of the free world comes at a high price on the inside, if it’s not impossible to get at all.

In a few hours, Chris will get up and go to work for a day.  It’s not much, but it will be the first money he’s earned in a long time, and earning money goes very far when one needs to just feel like a man again.  We are happy for him, and thrilled to have been part of this time in his life.  The further we get in his particular journey, the more we know we’re doing the right thing in starting this non-profit organization.  We’ll be getting back to fundraising pretty soon.  If you have ideas, please share them!  Pictures coming soon!

One more day for "Chris!"

I spoke with "Chris" again today.  He's definitely getting excited about his release on Friday morning.  He has a friend who'll be picking him up and bringing him here to my house briefly so that I may give him some of the lovely things that have been donated!  Thanks to our charity and awesome friends who've stepped up and donated things they no longer want or need, "Chris" will now have several pairs of jeans, several shirts, a lightweight jacket, a brand new package of socks, and several other items like a pillow, blanket, towels, a coffee maker and fresh new toiletries.  I was super excited to tell him all of this and he was thrilled to hear it.  He is sincerely grateful and kind of bowled over by all of this.  Thanks to this charity he also now has a working phone!  How could he expect to do any of the things he must do, including checking in with his parole officer and getting a job fast, without a reliable cell phone?  Thanks to a very generous donor, I was able to turn on a iPhone 3GS for him today.  So, even though he has no computer or internet access where he'll be staying, he can at least have data connectivity on his phone along with email and text so that he can get in touch with potential employers, and reconnect with family and friends he's missed out on for the past few years.  Thanks to everyone who's bought treats at our bake sales, because that money will be the cash I give him on Friday to ensure he has money to eat over the next week or two.  Donations are still very much needed, including cash (every dollar helps).  In addition, if any of you know of someone who would be a good candidate for our brand new program, hit me up privately and we can discuss specifics.  At this time, we're interested in helping Georgia inmates who are NON-VIOLENT offenders.  Our focus will be on "Chris" for the next 2-3 months but I'd like to have another inmate in the cue for when "Chris" no longer needs our direct help and attention.

I have to say, it feels very good to do something so worthwhile in our community.  Consider what you have in your home that you no longer want, need, or use and make a donation to us.   Inmates getting out on parole are much like someone whose house has just burned down, only worse.  They have no job to go to in the morning, and many of them have lost touch with even one person who could help them.

Thanks for reading!

Any day now, "Chris" is free.

I just received a call from "Chris." He seemed tired and restless after a long weekend couped up with no sunshine and no lunch.  That's right, NO lunch.  This particular prison does not feed inmates lunch on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays.  So inmates hopefully have someone on the outside who will put money in their commissary accounts so they can buy very unhealthy snacks at prison store to get their rumbly tummies through the weekend.  I guess it's the State's way of pushing some of the cost of housing prisoners back on the families (many of which can barely afford to eat anyway now that the breadwinner is locked up).  And I've learned a bit about JPay too.  It costs $4.95 to send $20.00 to an inmate!  That's 25%!!  It seems like having someone you care about in prison is quite an expensive thing to navigate.  One day on the phone with "Chris" I was expressing worry about his ability to survive on the outside during his first few weeks of freedom...his very quick reply was that it would have to be easier than trying to survive in there.   If there is no one on the outside sending you money, then you're pretty much stuck with nothing to trade.  If you have nothing to trade for favors, then it can seem pretty hopeless.  I've seen first hand in the ER I work in what hopeless looks like.  It looks like ligature marks and dead bodies.  No wonder the rate of suicide in prison is so much higher than "outside" in the rest of the world.  In "Chris's" mind, he's survived the worst of it already.  He'll eat dirt if he has to.  He just wants to see the sky, his family, and have a chance to make it on his own.

I should have posted this weekend, but was busy! We shuffled around in the kitchen and baked up some goodies to sell to raise some emergency funds for "Chris" because he's due out any day after October 1st.  Our bake sale netted $42. We already had $33.50 in cash donations.  So we are right at $75 which is not enough to get him comfortable on the outside.  He's our first parolee so we want to make it count, but when I initially made contact with him I had no idea that he'd be out in less than a month.  I have MUCH to learn about the correctional system!  So, please click on that Paypal link and send money for him.  It's in my name until we officially get the non-profit status, but I swear to goodness that you can trust me.  I'm keeping a detailed list of all contributors and the dollars amounts. If you cannot afford to donate, please at least share or promote this blog!  Thank you!

"Chris" is out soon! Help us raise funds for him!

Hello out there!  "Chris," whom the coalition is named for, is getting out very soon, in fact it could be any day after October 1st.  We won't know for sure until the last minute, but what we do know now is that we need emergency funds for him.  We are getting ready to organize a yard sale, so if you have an item to donate please do so! If you'd like to donate cash we could sure use that too.  "Chris" is hopeful that he may have a job when he gets out but it will still take a few weeks to get a paycheck.  In the meantime, he's going to need everyday items and food, that you and I mostly take for granted.  Can you imagine starting your life over with just the clothes on your back and $35?

Letter to Governor Nathan Deal

Governor Nathan Deal

206 Washington Street

Suite 203, State Capitol

Atlanta, GA 30334

September 26, 2013

Dear Governor Deal:

After my mother died in April of a prescription drug overdose, I felt the urge to start a non-profit organization to educate and provide resources to those trying to get help.  In the midst of severe emotional pain however, it’s hard to be creative, or to find the drive to figure out all the details as well as the big picture ideas involved in starting a true, game-changing, community enhancing program.  Also, I had a lot of things to deal with in cleaning out my mother’s apartment, the final disposition of her body and her estate.  Conversations with the funeral home and even checking my own mailbox (where her mail was forwarded) became a chore.

Fast forward to August.

Lying in my bed one night while everyone else was asleep, I decided to surf Netflix for something to occupy my time.  I ran across the new Netflix original series “Orange is the New Black.” Within a week I’d watched all 13 episodes, told everyone I knew about the show, and had bought the memoir by Piper Kerman that started the whole thing.

It’s hard to watch the show without having sympathy for people who have to live in prison.  I’ve always been able to find deep empathy for people who are walking a hard road in life, and I am probably one of the most non-judgmental people you’ll ever meet. So I spent hours that week and the next worrying about and ruminating on the plight of people in prison, especially those non-violent offenders whose crimes all go back to a drug addiction.  Maybe they stole to support their habit? Maybe they never had anyone to care enough for them to teach them how to act as a responsible member of society who contributes in a meaningful and positive way. 

Then I remembered “Chris.”

I’d heard at a funeral a few years back that a childhood friend of mine was “locked up.” A quick search on the Department of Corrections website confirmed his incarceration and there staring back at me was his mug shot – a stark contrast to the adorable, fun-loving, helpful kid I knew more than 20 years ago.   It was staring into the seemingly hurt gaze on that computer screen that threw the urge for action into the pit of my stomach.  You know what I’m talking about…the “knowing” feeling that you have when your life is about to change or take on some new meaning, at least for the foreseeable future.

So I scrawled down his inmate id number and the prison address and wrote him a letter right then, that night. 

Five days later I finally got the courage to put it in the mailbox and raise the flag and within a few days more I had my letter.  “Chris” was delighted to hear from me, and said he very rarely got mail at all.  He also said he was getting out the following month.  During the course of our communication, I asked him lots of questions about how he was going to arrange all the details of assimilating back into society (i.e. where to live, finding a job, getting back his driver’s license, buying a vehicle, even down to what he’d eat and how he’d clothe himself).  He said he’d been working on this planning for the last year and wanted a job first so he could earn enough money to get his license, then a car, then a place to stay.  He told me unequivocally that when he lost his mother ten years ago that he’d also lost himself and had gotten into things and people that were bad for him.  He’d done things he regretted and he knew he had to make some amends.  He assured me that he felt changed, wanted to better himself and his life, and never wanted to be locked up again, let alone commit a crime.

When they open the prison doors and let him go, he’ll have all of $35 to his name – the $10 he had to pay when he went in and $25 the state gives a person upon parole. He’ll have a parole officer checking on him periodically to make sure he’s not in trouble, but I can find no other resources readily available for someone who committed a crime, did his or her time, and is now ready and willing and wanting to make a fresh start.

Voila.  This was the missing link in my earlier thoughts about a non-profit.  “Chris” had a drug problem, which led him to steal in a non-violent way.  Millions of people incarcerated today never tried to hurt anyone, but were simply trying to support their own habit.  My own mother was never incarcerated, but she did struggle with a drug addiction (illegal and prescription drugs) for nearly 40 years. 

The C.H.R.I.S. Coalition

“Communities Helping Reintroduce Inmates to Society”

Now I can completely envision my non-profit organization designed to provide support and reintegration skills for parolees during their first 3-6 months on the “outside.” Many people fail to think about or realize that if we do not properly equip a person to succeed then we can pretty much expect them to fail.  How do we expect newly released offenders to become good law abiding citizens when our society gives them virtually no support upon being set free?  These are people who have had every aspect of their lives controlled for years who are suddenly thrust out into the world and have to scramble for everything they need, which currently can not all be found in one place.  There is no one central resource.

There is a need to fill right here in our community and in our state.  As I’ve begun talking to more and more people about my ideas for this non-profit and about simply helping “Chris” I find that most folks know someone who has been in trouble with the law, arrested, locked up, and forgotten about by the penal system.  Living conditions in prison are bad.  Getting out drives their hopes high, only to feel the most likely fall when there’s no place to go, no job, no car, no health insurance, no food, and no money.

In Athens GA, we have a number of non-profit organizations that could easily work together as a coalition to provide a well-rounded array of services for newly released ex-cons.  Also, we are located right next to the University of Georgia along with its school of social work, medicine, law, and child and family development departments.  As the charity gets up and running, it would be a wonderful place for social justice minded students to complete internships and give back to the community while bettering their formal education with real world experiences. 

Examples of services I believe we could provide are as follows:

• Immediate supply needs including toiletries, food, and vouchers for gas and prescription refills.
• Medical services for those who need it.  Many cons leave prison without any medical follow up even though they have been provided with medicines for diagnosed conditions while serving their time.  Sudden discontinuation of most of these medications can be quite harmful, especially SSRI’s which affect personality and mood.
• Life skills classes in areas like money management, resume writing, computer literacy, diet and nutrition, exercise and wellness, as well as information and resources for continuing education.
• Crisis counseling for those who are having trouble adjusting to “life on the outside.”
• Help finding a job and a reliable place to stay.  (A pie-in-the-sky resource would be a special bunk house designed for those in most critical danger of becoming immediately homeless.)
• Work skills assessments and career counseling.

Neither one of us has ever started a non-profit from scratch, even though both of us has worked for one at different points in our careers.  Currently both of us work as social workers in a local emergency room, so we are no stranger to citizens in need of services and are already well versed in and well connected to other leaders and non-profits in our community.  

It seems logical at this point to ask for State funding in addition to our own fund raising efforts.  I am not aware of any grants that are available for a charitable cause as diverse as this one.

Respectfully,

Heather A. Posey                                       Jennifer W. Aaron

UGA Class of ’97 & ’02                     &            UGA Class of ’98 & ‘07

B.S. (Psychology)                                        B.A. (Child & Family Development)

M.Ed. (Higher Education)                              M.S.W. (Social Work)